


The Woods

by rizcriz



Series: tumblr is dying time to get compiling [16]
Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Multi, They're lazy shits and i love them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 12:29:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16954050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rizcriz/pseuds/rizcriz
Summary: In which Quentin, Eliot and Margo go on a hike.





	The Woods

“Okay, that’s it,” Eliot pants, shaking his head as he comes to a stop, hand waving in front of him as he doubles over, trying to catch his breath. “That -,” He raises his head enough to look at Quentin, pointing at him as he gulps down air, “Is it!” 

Quentin frowns, crossing his arms across his own heaving chest. “We’re just a little … lost. We’ll find the trail -,”

Margo steps in between them, pointing a perfectly manicured nail at both of them, “No,” She says, breathless as well, though she doesn’t seem to be sweating at all. Quentin wonders if it’s because she cast a no persperation spell or something. “We’re  _done_ ,” She growls between gritted teeth. “Do whatever - you do to summon Penny so we can go  _home_!”

“I can’t just -,” 

She takes a step closer to him, narrowing her eyes up at him as she snips, dangerously, “You made us come hiking, and got us lost on the wrong. Fucking. Trail. Quentin,” She reaches up and pokes him in the chest, nail digging into the dip between his pectorals, “If you don’t get Penny here in the next twenty seconds, I will turn you into a  _fucking hamburger and eat you!”_

“Penny doesn’t get summoned!” 

She huffs through her nose, fingers twisting around until she’s fisting them in Quentin’s shirt and jerking him down to her height. “I swear to god, Q,” She whispers, voice dangerously low as it fans over his nose, “If you don’t get Penny here, you will never live to see another god damn day.”

Eliot stands up behind her, stalking towards them, and leaning down with narrowed eyes, “She won’t be the only one killing you, Quentin. If you don’t get him here, now, we will leave nothing for the police to find.” He pauses, standing upright, “Or anyone.”

Quentin sighs, closing his eyes. _C’mon, Penny, we need you. It’s an emergency. Please. Help. SOS - Save our souls. What do I have to say? Save us. We’re going to die!_ His thoughts are rushed and frantic, but knowing Penny not even ‘we’re going to die’ is going to be enough to get him -

“Took you long enough!” Margo gasps, letting go of Quentin’s shirt. 

Quentin opens his eyes, smiling guiltily as Penny looks over them and sighs, face going remarkably blank, before complete and utter frustration works across it. “What the  _fuck_!?” He stalks towards Quentin, pointing an angry finger, and, okay, Quentin’s tired of getting pointed at today, “You said you were going to die!”

He nods. “They were going to kill me.” He motions towards Margo and Eliot who are watching Penny expectantly. “Because they’re scared of a little excerise.”

“We’ve been hiking for hours!”

Penny turns his glare on Eliot. “It’s been forty five minutes.”

Eliot’s face falls. “Oh,” He breaths, shrugging one shoulder, “Well it felt longer than that.” Penny stares at him, narrowing his eyes. “Can we go now? Or are we just going to stand here all day? Because I need a drink.”

Penny huffs, holding his hands out and shaking his head with a roll of his eyes. “I fucking hate you guys.”

Margo grins, grabbing onto his arm as Quentin and Eliot each take a hand, “We love you too,” She chirps as they’re transported out of the woods and into the Physical Kids Cottage.

Alice looks up from her books as they appear, frowning, “You’re back already?” She asks, soft, as she closes the book on her lap.

Quentin nods, frowning as he flops down on the couch. He’d hated it, too, but he hadn’t complained. So he gets to complain about them complaining. Because his friends suck. “They were whining the entire time.”

“Oh whatever,” Margo says, pushing him over and sitting in between them. “You were just as close to collapsing as we were.” 

“At least I wasn’t going to give up on the bonding hike.” 

Eliot rolls his eyes, leaning down on the arm of the couch and patting Quentin’s head, “Poor baby,” He murmurs, “Would a special cocktail make you feel better?” He pauses, tilting his head, “I know it’d make me feel better.”

Margo grins, “Getting drunk together is our thing. Why do we need to change that anyways?”

“ … Because it’s not healthy to stay inside all day?” 

She shrugs, “Who gives a fuck about healthy? We’re young, we’re hot, we’re horny. We don’t need to hike to bond.” Leaning over, she wraps her arms around him, grinning, “C’mon Q. Let us keep being bad influences. You’ll only hate it for, like, ten minutes.”

Quentin turns to pout at Alice but she raises her hands between them, “Don’t look at me. They’re your friends.”

“They’re your friends too!”

She snorts, “Not today, they’re not. You’ve got custody.”

“That was for the hike!” 

“Mmm, no,” She grins, pushing herself up from the couch, “The whole day. Have fun, kids!” Turning to Penny, she holds a hand out. 

Penny glares, before sighing and taking her hand. “You do realize I’m not a fucking taxi service, right?” He asks, before they vanish, and a cocktail appears in Quentin’s hand.

He sighs, turning his attention back on Eliot and Margo.

Eliot stares at him for a long moment before sighing dramatically, and hopping over the couch to take Alice’s spot, “Fine,” He breathes, “Next weekend we’ll try something … less. Indoors.”

“Maybe a picnic,” Margo suggests, “How’s that, Q?” 

Quentin huffs, bringing the cocktail to his lips, and mumbling, “That sounds great.”

And he means it. Even if his friends are the  _worst_. Also, he never, ever, wants to set foot in fucking woods again. But they don’t need to know that.

Besides. A picnic? That sounds  _amazing_. 


End file.
